you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
