benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
