her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just pee around me
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
