6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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