Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
