you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
