How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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