The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
