It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have tasted many bathrooms
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
