bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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