I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
