being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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