She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
