porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
