she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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