I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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