what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
