at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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