did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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