The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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