yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
