You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
