Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
