No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
