I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
