all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
