I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
