I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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