Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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