We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
