Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
