It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
