I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
