worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
