Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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