you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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