I like to think it a success when the cops are called
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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