I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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