uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
