What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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