my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
