Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just found a bag of teeth...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
