I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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