just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I want a musical about memes.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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