Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
