Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
