He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
