he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
