Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
