tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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