I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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