he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
