There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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