People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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