I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
