Buhtt sex?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
