Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
