Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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