my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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